Written by Jen Jasperson
When is school going to start? Will it be hybrid learning? All online? In-person? What do my kids need to be successful in school this year? What do I need to do to keep my family safe? Should we cancel that vacation? Yeah, this sounds like the brain of a stressed out mom!
All of the unknown is enough to keep you up at night thinking through everything to make sure nothing is missed. Mamas, I know you are extra stressed and overloaded right now with the emotional labor of the household and I want to give you some tips and tricks to manage it.
Give Yourself Credit
When mamas are managing intangible things (emotional labor, worries about the future, etc.), it can feel like you aren’t doing anything. YOU ARE! You’re carrying the load of stress for your family and it’s not an easy thing to carry. Some of this worry is unhelpful and at times unnecessary, but sometimes you need to think it all through to get to a decision – and that takes mental and emotional energy.
For example, a lot of mamas agonized over what decision to make for their child(ren)’s schooling for the year. Part of that worry and thinking was necessary to do what was right for their family. You care so much about making the right decision. You may not be getting any praise or encouragement for that, which can add to the stress. You’re working hard, Mama, and you deserve credit for the things you do, no matter how intangible some of them may be.
Giving yourself credit can look like self-talk:
- “I am doing great”
- “I’ve got this”
- “Trust your decisions”
- “I am a great mama who is making all the decisions in the name of the health of my family”
- “I am doing the best I can in a world with a lot of unknowns”
If you are partnered, you can ask your spouse to recognize your efforts verbally. I am sure that they have at least thought about being grateful that they have you keeping the family together – they just might not always think to express it. Tell them it would be really nice to hear what they appreciate about you. If you’re thinking that it wouldn’t mean as much if you have to tell them – try it! You don’t know until you ask. And when they do compliment you – make sure to stop and really take it in.
Mindfulness
You may have heard this one before but it’s worth bringing up. It’s probably the most helpful coping skill that you can do almost anytime or anywhere.
Remember when I said to “really take it in” when getting a compliment from your partner? That’s mindfulness! Mindfulness simply means being present in the moment, for whatever that moment entails. If we aren’t in the moment, we are likely worrying about things that have already happened or will happen, and then we are missing out on the greatness of what is happening currently.
For a whole day (or maybe couple of hours if you need to start slow) make a pact with yourself to gently bring your thoughts to the present moment whenever possible.
With mindfulness, this will look like:
- Thinking & worrying about the learning experience of your kids this year
- Instead of worrying about this, what is happening in the moment that I can focus on?
- Oh, my daughter is working on a puzzle. She never used to do puzzles before COVID. She learned something new. That’s awesome. I could stop these worrisome thoughts and do this puzzle and enjoy some time with her. Wow, she is so resilient. She will be just fine this year
- Instead of worrying about this, what is happening in the moment that I can focus on?
See how that works? Mindfulness brings you out of your anxious thoughts and to enjoying the moment, whatever that moment looks like.
Get Out of the House
We are all getting a tad antsy from being stuck in the house so much. We also all have different levels of comfort for what we will do outside of the house. Please only continue to do what you are comfortable with.
Here are some ideas for leaving the house trying to be safe:
- Have dinner on your patio/deck for something different. Bonus points if you can set the kids up with a movie and dinner separately from you so you can enjoy some non-mama time.
- Find a non-crowded park or open area. Bring a book and read. Bring a hammock and take a nap. Pack some food and have a picnic. Bring a lawn game like corn hole and play with your partner or friends.
- Find a new trail (again hopefully one that is not crowded) and take a nice hike.
- Take a drive to somewhere new and find ways to still social distance when you get there. Find a park or open area that will be that much more exciting because it’s out of your norm.
Here is more information from the CDC on how to be safe when leaving the house.
Whatever you do, Mama, know that you are doing great, and I see you.
If you could use more support, I would be happy to meet with you to see how I could be of help. Remember that even though everyone is struggling right now, that is no reason to think you couldn’t use some extra therapeutic self-care.
Start Therapy for Overwhelmed Moms in Plymouth, MN
We would love to help you through this unprecedented time in the world. You do not have to suffer from the uncertainty and isolation all alone. You deserve support. Our Plymouth based therapists would love to help you. To get started, simply:
- Schedule a free, 30-minute consultation
- Meet with a skilled and licensed therapist who specializes in maternal mental health
- Begin to feel more sane, calm, and confident during this chaos
Other Counseling Services at Radiant Living Therapy
Our problems have many layers. We know these issues are complex so, we can help you at our Plymouth, MN counseling office, or anywhere in the state with online therapy in Minnesota. Our professional therapists offer a variety of options for supporting your mental health needs. Our counseling services include individual counseling for anxiety or depression therapy, counseling for teens, therapy for men, marriage counseling and couples therapy, EMDR for trauma therapy, therapy for postpartum, and more. Radiant Living also offers more of these mental health services online. Let us help you live your best life, starting with online therapy.
Also, if you are a helping professional looking for help, or a therapist needing supervision or consultation services, we can help you, too. No matter the need, our therapists look forward to connecting with you!
