Written by Amanda Holmberg, MS LMFT, Radiant Living Therapist & Owner
As the holidays are upon us, I am not sure I know one single person that isn’t stressed out in some way by the holidays.
Common reasons to be stressed by the holiday season are:
- Gift-Giving: Feeling on top of your list as well as feeling financial able to buy for everyone
- Travel: The pressure to travel and finances related to traveling
- Family Drama
- Issues with In-Laws
- Fear of spreading or getting Covid-19
- Loss and grief
- Time off Work
- Differences with family about how to spend the holidays
- Depression
- ……and so much more
Why does a season that is supposed to be joyful bring so much stress?
One word: E X P E C T A T I O N S
We have so many expectations of ourselves. Make sure to get a gift for everyone on my list, don’t forget about anyone, find extra money to afford the many expenses that come with the holidays, go to all the parties and get-togethers, decorate your home as the perfect display of holiday magic, and so on. And we expect that we should do all the things perfectly and seamlessly.
I am here solely to give you permission to rid yourself of expectations this holiday season.
We’ve all had a tough couple of years living through an unprecedented global pandemic. And it’s not over yet. We all deserve to do what feels easiest and best for us to do for ourselves and our immediate families. Might you disappoint or piss a few people off while doing his? Absolutely. Be prepared for it. But you’ll thank yourself in the long run.
Ways to decrease stress and expectations of self this holiday season:
- Say “No” to any activity or family gathering that you don’t feel excited to go to
- Say “No” to any activity or family gathering that does not fit with your comfort level of gatherings and staying safe with covid
- Encourage your extended family to change the way gift-giving is done to make it less stressful
- This could include: no gifts at all except for children, foregoing gifts and pooling some money to donate to a family in need, draw names so you only have to get one adult gift, etc
- Schedule downtime for yourself. If you have a holiday party to go to on Saturday, give yourself all of Sunday to relax and recoup
- Limit your drinking. Alcohol is a depressant and during withdrawal can make you feel pretty darn depressed
- Think of the most stressful part of your holiday season. It might be traveling, gift-giving, decorating, in-laws, etc. Once you have your most stressful thing? Find a way to change it or eliminate it.
- Volunteer with an organization that is meaningful to you. Helping others helps our own stress
- Make time for your regular healthy lifestyle routines like exercising, meditation, reading books, etc.
Finally, consider online therapy in Minnesota for you and your family.
Seek out therapy for unresolved or ongoing issues that may come up for you during the holidays so that you may be able to experience the season in a healthier way
Once you have made some concrete decisions around decreasing your expectations and stress level…congratulate yourself! These are not easy decisions and may come with some guilt. Doing what is best for yourself, in the long run, is not always easy or fun. Way to go for prioritizing yourself!
Thinking About Online Therapy in Minnesota?
Right now, it might feel difficult to make time to meet with your therapist. But, we offer online counseling in Minnesota, no matter where you are in the state. We can provide high-quality telehealth services for you and your family! To get started, simply:
- Schedule a free, 30-minute consultation to talk about online therapy over the holidays
- Meet with a skilled and licensed online therapist
- Feel better about dealing with the expectations and pressures of the holidays now
Other Counseling Services at Radiant Living Therapy
Our problems have many layers. We know these issues are complex so, at our Plymouth, MN counseling office, our professional therapists offer a variety of options for supporting your mental health needs. Our counseling services include individual counseling for anxiety or depression therapy, counseling for teens, marriage counseling and couples therapy, EMDR for trauma therapy, counseling for men, therapy for infertility and more. Most of these services can also be offered online. Let us help you live your best life, starting with online therapy.
If you are a helping professional looking for help, or a therapist needing supervision or consultation services, we can help you, too. No matter the need, our therapists look forward to connecting with you!
