“We are struggling to conceive and it’s just not going the way I planned”
“My partner and I feel more disconnected as a couple since trying to get pregnant I don’t know what to do to make it better”
“We are having some sexual difficulties that are impacting our ability to get pregnant and this is when we need this part to “work” now more than ever!”
“I know we are putting too much pressure on getting pregnant but not sure how to just have fun with each other again”
If these thoughts sound familiar to you, you are not alone! Many couples go through this when trying to start or grow their families. You may think, I feel so alone why doesn’t anyone else talk about this?
Infertility is a Common Struggle, but Also Very Sensitive
The truth is, struggling with infertility is an extremely sensitive topic for a lot of people. We may spend years our life trying to avoid getting pregnant for whatever reason, and when we are ready to start a family we just want it to be easy. When it isn’t easy it can bring up feelings of shame, low self-worth, embarrassment, and more. And, due to the shame it can cause, it can make you feel like you can’t bring it up with others. Keeping it all in creates stress….and we all know stress isn’t good for trying to conceive.
So what the heck do we do?!
We talk about it. We take the pressure off this big thing that’s weighing on you and start to come up with some practical solutions to lower the pressure, increase the connection, and fix any difficulties with your sexual intimacy. There are a lot of other concerns about maternal mental health to explore as well. Please visit our Postpartum and Maternal Mental Health page to learn more.
Some areas we can explore in therapy for infertility:
Sexual Dysfunction While Trying to Get Pregnant
Research has found that couples trying to get pregnant are more likely to experience sexual dysfunction. This can be a struggle with desire, arousal, pain during sex, or ejaculation. You do not need to let this stop you from being able to get pregnant or take longer to get pregnant. We can help you explore options for treatment including specific coping techniques.
Desire/Arousal Concerns
Nothing can make sex feel so unsexy like trying to make a baby.
When you’ve been trying for months and months without the results you want it’s easy to feel like sex is the last thing you want to do. You want to get pregnant but you might not want to have sex. This is making it hard to get it going. We can discuss strategies to make this easier and to increase desire/arousal.
Pain During Sex
You also might be experiencing pain during sex. Pain during sex is not normal and should be treated as soon as possible by a medical professional and a mental health professional who specializes in this. Our therapists understand these issues and can help!
Problems With Erection or Ejaculation for Men
If one of these things is happening it’s probably really stressing you out. We are trained sex therapists to teach you a combination of mindfulness and behavioral interventions to fix this problem fast.
Disconnection While Trying to Get Pregnant
Remember what we said about sex being not sexy anymore when struggling to get pregnant? In the same way, it’s easy for your emotional connection to go out the window. When you’re so focused on this one thing, it can start to impact your marriage or relationship. It might not seem like the time for couples counseling. However, it is critical to take time to connect and de-stress as a couple. There needs to be time you connect and don’t’ talk about infertility or getting pregnant. There also needs to be times you have sex when you know you likely won’t get pregnant (gasp!). In couples counseling, you can talk about ways to re-connect so you are less stressed and having sex is easier and more relaxing.
Whatever your problem may be in trying to conceive we look forward to helping you with the emotional pieces that inevitably show up with infertility.
Radiant Living Therapists Who Specialize in Infertility Counseling
Amanda Holmberg, MS LMFT
Relevant Posts from the Radiant Living Therapy blog:
Struggling with Infertility in the Minneapolis Area? Let us help you with therapy.
Beginning therapy for infertility in our Plymouth, MN counseling office with skilled therapists is simple and worry-free. Let go of your anger and frustration with your partner in an empowering and honest way. To get started, follow these simple steps:
- Schedule a free consultation
- Meet with a caring marriage and family therapist
- Work through these difficult issues and be stronger through the journey
Other Counseling Services at Radiant Living Therapy
Often, relationships and fertility problems have many layers. We know these issues are complex. You are a whole person and therefore, you may need help in more than one area of your life. At our Plymouth, MN counseling office, our professional therapists also offer individual therapy, counseling for teens, EMDR for trauma therapy, postpartum and maternal mental health, counseling for men, counseling for therapists & other helping professionals, therapy for couples & marriage counseling and more. Let us enhance your life in a meaningful and comprehensive way. We also offer supervision for therapists. No matter the need, we look forward to connecting with you!