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By Amanda Holmberg, MS LMFT

Anxiety. We all feel it from time to time, and yet when it hits, it can feel completely overwhelming. Whether it’s that constant knot in your stomach, the racing thoughts before a big presentation, or the nagging “what ifs” that seem to take over, anxiety is something that many of us struggle with. As a Minnesota therapist, I hear about it every day, and what I know for sure is this: You are not alone in what you’re feeling.

I get it—anxiety is no joke. It can feel like it has its grip on you, making everything seem scarier, harder, and out of control. But here’s the thing: anxiety is a natural, human response to stress. It’s your body’s way of trying to protect you, even though, more often than not, it’s not necessary. In this post, I want to talk about anxiety in a way that’s real and relatable, breaking it down into simple terms and offering some ways to help you manage it.

What Is Anxiety, Really?

Think about anxiety like an alarm system inside your body. It’s there to warn you about danger. In ancient times, this was super useful—imagine trying to outrun a predator, or trying to stay safe in a dangerous environment. That feeling of anxiety was the thing that helped us survive. But here’s the catch: today, we don’t have to worry about wild animals (unless you’re one of those people who’s afraid of squirrels, in which case, I totally get you). Yet, our bodies still react the same way when we’re stressed, even if the “threat” isn’t actually dangerous.

That job interview, a tough conversation with a friend, or even a busy day ahead—these things can trigger the same physical response. It’s like our brain says, “Something’s coming, get ready!” But instead of gearing up for a physical danger, we’re gearing up for life’s stressors.

How Anxiety Manifests

Anxiety isn’t just in our heads—it shows up in our bodies too. You’ve probably felt your heart race or your hands get clammy, and that’s because anxiety triggers your fight-or-flight response. But it also affects how we think and feel. Sometimes, anxiety can feel like it’s all you can think about, turning the smallest worry into a mountain of fear.

Here are some common ways anxiety shows up:

1. Overthinking and Worrying – It’s like your brain won’t turn off. Thoughts race in circles, often jumping to the worst-case scenario.
2. Physical Tension – Maybe you feel tightness in your chest, headaches, or your stomach feels like it’s constantly in knots.
3. Avoidance – Anxiety can make you want to avoid situations altogether. You might cancel plans or skip out on something because you’re too anxious to face it.
4. Perfectionism – Anxiety can convince you that if you don’t do things perfectly, something terrible will happen. This can lead to burnout and feelings of inadequacy.

The Thing About Anxiety: It’s a Story We Tell Ourselves

One of the biggest things I’ve learned in my years as a therapist is that anxiety loves uncertainty. When we’re uncertain about something—whether it’s how others perceive us or what the future holds—our brains jump in and fill the void with worst-case scenarios. For example, what about that presentation you’re nervous about? Your mind might start whispering, “What if I mess up? What if they think I’m unqualified?” But most of the time, these thoughts are exaggerated or simply not true.

Think of anxiety like an unreliable narrator. It wants you to believe the worst, even when there’s no real evidence for it. The tricky part is that, when you’re anxious, it can feel so real. But here’s the good news: you can change the story.

Breaking Free from the Anxiety Spiral

It’s not easy, but it’s totally possible to calm your anxiety down and regain control. Here are a few simple strategies that I recommend to my clients, and that you might find helpful too:

1. Grounding Techniques – When anxiety takes over, it helps to refocus your mind on the present moment. Try grounding yourself by noticing five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This brings you back to the here and now.
2. Breathing Exercises – Deep breathing can help reset your body’s stress response. Try inhaling slowly for a count of four, holding for four, exhaling for four, and pausing for four. Repeat this a few times to slow your heart rate and calm your nerves.
3. Challenge Your Thoughts – When you start spiraling into worst-case thinking, pause and ask yourself: “What evidence do I have for this thought? How likely is this to happen?” Sometimes just questioning the validity of anxious thoughts can help bring perspective.
4. Practice Self-Compassion – Anxiety is tough, and it’s okay to admit that. Instead of criticizing yourself for being anxious, try to offer yourself some kindness. Imagine what you would say to a close friend who’s struggling with anxiety, and say those same things to yourself.
5. Set Boundaries – Sometimes, anxiety is your body’s way of telling you that you need to slow down. It’s okay to say no, take a break, and ask for support when you need it. You don’t have to do it all, and you don’t have to do it alone.

When to Seek Professional Help

If anxiety feels like it’s taking over your life or you’re just struggling to manage it, therapy can be a great option. As a therapist, I work with clients to explore the root causes of their anxiety, teach them coping strategies, and help them develop a new way of thinking about their worries. There’s no shame in asking for help when you need it. Therapy is a safe space where you can talk about your fears and learn how to feel more in control.

Anxiety is NORMAL

At the end of the day, anxiety is something everyone deals with in one form or another. It doesn’t mean you’re broken, weak, or incapable. It just means you’re human, and you’re doing your best in a world full of challenges. The good news is that anxiety doesn’t have to control you. With the right tools and support, you can ride out the storm and find peace on the other side.

So be gentle with yourself. Take things one step at a time. And remember: healing is a process, and you’re already doing the hard work. You’ve got this.

Ready to Start Anxiety Therapy in Plymouth, MN?

Make this strategic investment in yourself. Your mental health IS worth it! Getting online therapy in Minnesota or in-person therapy in Plymouth, MN therapy office is easy!

1. Schedule a free online therapy consultation to talk and get started
2. Meet with a caring Minnesota online therapist
3. Begin your journey to start healing and feeling more like your best possible self.

Other Counseling Services at Radiant Living Therapy

At Radiant Living Therapy, we understand what you’re going through, and provide counseling for men to address your needs. Also, the therapists at our Plymouth, MN counseling office offer other mental health services such as anxiety and depression counseling, teen therapy, EMDR for trauma therapy, and skilled couples therapy. Check out our therapist blog or learn more about our team of expert therapists! Let us help you live your best life!