New Year New Us: Relationship Resolutions

by Josalin Brausen, Masters Intern Therapist

With 2024 upon us, talk of New Year’s resolutions is everywhere. Right now it’s common to set goals for yourself – exercise more, spend less time on social media, further your career, improve eating habits, etc…but have you thought about your relationship? It’s an area of your life you don’t want to neglect, and setting some new year’s relationship resolutions can be a great way to prioritize your partnership. Plus, with multiple people involved, you can work to hold each other accountable for keeping up with the goals you set. In this blog, I am going to provide some potential relationship resolutions you and your partner(s) could adopt, as well as some steps on how to come up with your own. First, let’s dive into some resolution inspiration.

Couple celebrating getting more connected together moving forward. Help with a relationship therapist and couples therapist in Plymouth, MN via online therapy in Minnesota can help you find your excitement as a couple.

Relationship Resolution #1: Discover Mutual Hobbies

For most, spending quality time together is an important part of a relationship. Finding a mutual hobby to enjoy together can be a great way to do that and build emotional intimacy. It could be anything from joining a gym, reading the same book, volunteering, hiking, trying indoor rock climbing, learning a new language together, and so much more. The list is endless! Find something you will both enjoy and then make a habit out of it.

Relationship Resolution #2: Stop Multitasking with Technology

We are all guilty of using our phones or watching TV during a conversation with our partner(s). Yet, it can limit our level of connection. Try setting aside intentional time to debrief your day like eating dinner at the dinner table, or going for a walk after work – all with your phones put away. It can also be a good habit to pause what you are doing when your partner(s) initiates a conversation. This makes them feel heard and valued and enhances your communication.

Relationship Resolution #3: Prioritize Your Sex Life

Life is busy and stressful…it is common for sexual intimacy to slide to the back burner, especially in long-term relationships. However, pleasure and sexuality matter, and prioritizing your sex life could greatly improve your relationship. Doing this can take many different forms. One idea is to take a trip to your local sex toy store and pick out a few new things together. You could also work on changing up your sexual routine – like trying new positions or locations. If you are struggling with any sexual concerns such as low/mismatched desire, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, pain with sex, or anything along those lines, reach out for help! It is difficult to prioritize sex when it is frustrating or painful. Your doctor and/or a sex therapist is a great place to start for help with sexual issues.

Relationship Resolution #4: Have a Weekly Admin Meeting

If you live with your partner(s), it can be helpful to have weekly dedicated time to discuss things such as finances, chores, appointments, schedules, child care/pet care, etc. Talk about what is going well, and where you each may need some more support. Get on the same page and tackle bigger issues together. Doing so, and putting everything out in the open, can lower stress and tension and ensure no one is feeling unheard. It also prevents resentment from building over time. If you don’t live together, you could have a weekly relationship check-in – covering what parts of your relationship are strong and what could use some improvement.

Relationship Resolution #5: Practice Fair Fighting

Arguing is a part of every relationship, however, how you do so is very important. When in a disagreement, try to avoid attacking each other such as name-calling or bringing up past mistakes that aren’t relevant. Instead, use “I feel” statements and clearly state what you need from your partner(s). If things are getting especially heated, take a break away from each other and take time to calm down in whatever way works for you – exercise, deep breathing, or journaling are a few ideas. When you both feel ready, come back together and debrief. If you are struggling to resolve conflict within your relationship or marriage, reach out to a therapist! They can help you talk through issues and figure out how to communicate better.

Couple on a mountaintop holding their hands high looking triumphant in the sunset. A couples therapist in the Minneapolis area can help you achieve the relationship goals you want!

Setting Your Own Relationship Resolutions

What I have listed in this blog are just a few ideas or jumping-off points for relationship resolutions. You can set whatever goals feel right for you and your partner(s). Try making a date out of setting your resolutions – discuss it over a nice dinner and do something fun afterward. Below are some questions to reflect on when setting your new year’s goals with your partner(s). When having this discussion, approach it with gentleness, kindness, and empathy for each other.

Do you feel the time you spend together is well spent?
Do you feel you speak openly and honestly within your relationship?
Are you happy with the kind of sex you’re having?
What are the major patterns of behavior you notice in your relationship?
Are there new patterns you want to create within your relationship?
Do you feel supported by your partner(s)? Why or why not?
What can you celebrate about your relationship?

Above all, don’t be too hard on yourselves! There is always room for improvement in relationships, and communicating about your issues is key to a healthy relationship. If you fall behind on a resolution, that’s okay! Notice that, and then try again. Pressure will only cause more stress and make it difficult to stick to goals. Remember that resolutions should motivate you, not be used to make you feel bad about yourself. You got this!

Consider Online Couples Therapy or Marriage Counseling in Minnesota

If you are still struggling to communicate clearly, consider contacting a couples therapist. We are here to help! If you want to learn more about this or other wellness and/or relationship topics, couples therapy in Plymouth, MN can help. Getting started is simple!