Bullying Affects Teens Through Adulthood

By Emily Anderson, Master’s Level Intern

Bullying within schools and peer organizations is an unfortunately common occurrence, and it is suggested that around 1/3 of children have experienced bullying at some point in their lives. This can be nearly as harmful as child abuse itself, and yet for a long time it has been seen as “no big deal” or “boys being boys” or even as “tough love”. Even in many movies and TV shows it has often been seen as funny comic humor or the way to toughen up a child for adulthood. However, in real life childhood bullying can have long-lasting and damaging effects well into adulthood. It isn’t something to laugh at, and it is something to take with utmost seriousness. This is why we have to consider this as teen therapists offering teen therapy in Plymouth, MN.

Not only are kids dismissed but adults are as well. Adults are told to just get over it. It’s in the past. However, if you’ve ever experienced being randomly triggered into irrational irritation or anger, or never felt as confident in social situations as your peers, these can all be signs of past childhood bullying. Bullying can increase someone’s likelihood of developing depression, anxiety, personality disorders, social anxiety, and even post-traumatic stress disorder. Research has suggested that 40.5% of girls and 27.6% of boys develop symptoms of PTSD shortly after bullying incidents. Bullying is something that needs to be taken seriously not only at the childhood level but at the adult level as well. They can prime an individual for lifelong mental health struggles.

Types and Signs of Childhood and Teen Bullying

Child being bullied by an older child looking through his backpack with his glasses on the floor. A teen therapist in Plymouth, MN can help with bullying and more. Learn more about teen therapy near the Twin Cities here.

Bullying can come in many shapes and forms. Someone doesn’t need to get into a physical altercation for it to be considered bullying. For example, social bullying involves someone hurting another person by destroying their friendships, and reputation, and the spreading of rumors or false accusations. This can be just as damaging to someone mentally as being hit by a peer. Another common occurrence of bullying is cyberbullying. Research suggests that over 40% of children experience cyberbullying at some point in their lives. Cyberbullying is an act of bullying by known or anonymous individuals over social media or text. It can be extremely pervasive due to the overwhelming presence of social media. It isn’t something a lot of children feel they can escape as they could at school or other physical places. Unfortunately, bullying does not come in one form and the effects don’t either.

What are the signs of bullying?

There can be many psychological and physical signs of bullying in children. Many times, shame and decreased self-esteem come with being bullied, and as such children can be less likely to express to adults what is happening. That is why it is so important to be on the look out for changes in your child’s mood and behavior. Children who are bullied usually experience changes in eating and sleeping, avoiding social situations, increased depression and anxiety, and worsening academic performance. Children many times do not have the skills to cope with what is happening and may lash out in other ways. Dealing with the underlying emotions and processing the experience is incredibly important, to hopefully prevent mental health issues later on in life.

Bullies need help too.

The same can be said for the children who are bullies. It is important to remember that children who are bullies are still children, and deserve help for whatever is happening in their lives that may be causing the behavior. Studies have found that in many cases the bully and those they target are very similar and showcase similar mental health effects. There are a few signs that a child may be engaging in bullying behaviors. This would include getting into fights, becoming more aggressive, getting into trouble at school, and isolating themselves from other bullies. Their behavior can’t be excused by circumstances, but it can be somewhat understood and addressed to help them.

One of the biggest reasons children become bullies is due to an unhealthy home life. This can include poor modeling from parents, childhood abuse, isolation, and lack of guidance around empathy. These struggles and inappropriate behavior can be lifelong and pervasive. It is important that when people address the effects of bullying it is addressed for the victim and perpetrator alike.

Signs and Effects of Childhood Bullying In Adults

It is suggested that 20% of people who have been bullied in childhood continue to experience mental health problems throughout their life. Some signs of childhood bullying in adults can be more easy to spot such as PTSD or severe depressive symptoms. For those who find themselves in those categories, the trauma that preceded it can usually be recognized. However, there are more subtle signs that can be harder to recognize and link back to childhood bullying but can be just as damaging and pervasive.

Girls gossiping about another girl in the background. Your teenager can get help from an online therapist for teens in Minnesota for teen therapy here.

Low Self-Esteem Can Be Tracked Back, Too

Chronic low self-esteem can be linked back to childhood bullying. Due to childhood being a time to develop who you are as a person, an attack and demolishing of self-esteem when you are younger can be really hard to recoup later in life. Another sign of childhood bullying is the development of reactive anger. Reactive anger is one that is in response to a threat and can be developed from repeated bullying. This type of anger and explosiveness can usually generalize to stimuli other than direct bullying attacks and causes people to have overreactive responses to anger. Finally, childhood bullying has been linked to individuals’ health and relationship problems later in life. Some victims suffer from drug and alcohol abuse, whereas others have severe trust issues. All of these signs can be lifelong and usually feed into each other keeping the circle of suffering going.

How To Help Your Teens and Yourself

You might be thinking what now? The bullying has stopped for myself or my child, but how do I deal with the effects? For children early intervention can be really important so that they develop the tools to successfully process this trauma. This could mean reaching out to a therapist or a trusted adult to talk through what happened. Another way to help your child through this is to encourage them to find a supportive network of peers. If the children they are hanging around with aren’t supportive or are the bullies themselves, dump them. It is a great opportunity for your child to learn to set social boundaries and explore new friendships. This goes for children who are involved with bullying other children as well. Popularity isn’t everything, and finding friends who you connect with and make you feel good is important.

Still recovering from bullying? Therapy for adults can help too.

Cyber bullying depiction. Dealing with bullying as a teenager can be tough. Learn more about teen therapy in Plymouth, MN with an online therapist in Minnesota here.

The same can be said for adults who are suffering from the effects of childhood bullying. Make sure you surround yourself with good friends who don’t trigger you or perpetuate the cycle of bullying you’ve been in. Some research suggests that mediation between the victims and bullies can be helpful in restoring safety and a sense of self. This can be done between children at the time of the incident; however, many adults have chosen to go back and speak with their childhood bullies. To seek answers or to restore a sense of power in themselves.

However, this can be counterintuitive if the bully continues to be an aggressive perpetrator into adulthood. The best course of action to help with childhood bullying is to seek out therapy to help process not only the incidents but also the mental health effects. It is very common for victims of bullying to blame themselves and internalize the messages from bullying. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for teens helps address those negative cognitions of self to reduce anxiety and promote positive self-esteem.

Consider Therapy for Teens in Plymouth, MN

If you need assistance with getting this conversation started with your teen, consider seeking support from a licensed teen therapist in Plymouth, MN. They can provide personalized guidance and therapeutic strategies to help your teenager navigate the social scene. Start with these three simple steps!

Schedule a free 30-minute consultation
Meet a skilled and caring teen therapist in Minnesota
Help your teenager feel more confident moving through life and into adulthood.

Other Counseling Services at Radiant Living Therapy

At Radiant Living Therapy, we support, explore, and address challenges throughout the lifespan near the Twin Cities and beyond. Our marriage and family therapists provide couples therapy. Expert therapists at our Plymouth, MN counseling office offer other mental health services such as anxiety and depression counseling and EMDR for trauma therapy. Other services include counseling for men, teen therapy, and more. We are here to help you thrive.