We all know having tough conversations with your teen can be tricky. If you want to discuss their mental health I’m sure you already know you have to be very careful and mindful. Talking to your teen about their mental health can feel like trying to defuse a bomb while blindfolded. You try as hard as you can not to step on an emotional landmine that’s going to cause you or them to lose control. But don’t worry—I’ve got some tips to help you navigate this delicate topic with your teen and maybe even come out of it with a deeper connection.
1. Create a Chill Zone for Your Teen
Before you dive into the mental health chat, make sure you’re both in a relaxed environment. This isn’t the time for a heart-to-heart during a screaming match or in the middle of dinner prep. Pick a calm, neutral setting where your teen can talk openly. Think cozy couch time or a casual drive where they don’t feel cornered. Teens also tend to feel the most comfortable and safe in their own bedroom.
2. Choose Your Moment Wisely
Timing is everything. Avoid bringing up mental health when your teen is already stressed or upset. Pick a moment when things are relatively calm—like a quiet evening at home or during a peaceful weekend. I know you may feel tempted to hold off when things are going well- but remember that this is your moment! They are much more likely to be able to hear you and participate when they are in a good mental space. You may also have to try more than once to get them to talk. Be patient, it will happen.
3. Start Out “Neutral”
Instead of immediately grilling them or starting with intense topics – try to start out with things you know they enjoy talking about. This might be music that they listen to, their favorite video game, what’s going on in social media, etc. Ease into the conversation.
4. Listen Up and Validate Your Teen
When they do start talking, really listen. No interrupting, no jumping in with advice. Just be present and show that you’re genuinely interested in what they have to say. Try nodding, making eye contact, and reflecting back on what you’re hearing, like, “It sounds like you’ve been feeling really overwhelmed with everything.” Even if their problems seem small or trivial to you, they’re huge to them. Show that you get it by acknowledging their feelings. Phrases like, “That sounds really tough” or “I can see why you’d feel that way” can make a big difference. It’s about showing empathy and making them feel understood.
5. Don’t Freak Out on Your Teen
This is going to be the most important piece of advice I give you about talking to your teen.
When I talk to teens about why they don’t want to share something with their parents I always hear the same thing:
“I can’t tell them that, they’re just going to freak out”
What does not freaking out on your teenager look like?
Don’t jump in with your fears about the subject. For example, if they tell you they’ve been feeling depressed, do not let your protective parent shoot out of you and say things like “OH MY GOSH MY POOR BABY, What are we going to do?! Why didn’t you tell me this sooner? I’m’ so afraid for you, etc. You need to regulate your emotions and remind yourself that freaking out will only make them back away and put a wall up. You can freak out later with your co-parent, a friend, a therapist, etc. Tell them you’re glad they’re sharing this with you and you will support them in any way they’d like.
6. Empower Your Teenager About How They Want to Move Forward
Ask them if they have thought about what they’d like to do about this problem related to their mental health. Have they thought about therapy? Group therapy? Going to see their doctor? Validate their thought process whatever it might be. And if you have suggestions that’s fine, but do them gently.
7. Be Persistent With Your Teen (But Not Pushy)
Opening up can take time. Your teen might not spill their guts right away or might even shut down initially. Keep the door open and let them know you’re there for them, even if they’re not ready to talk yet. Your continued support can make a big difference.
9. Show the Way for Your Teenager
Demonstrate healthy ways to handle stress and emotions. If you practice mindfulness, take time for self-care, or talk about your own feelings, it can set a positive example. Your actions can show them that it’s okay to address their mental health openly.
10. Respect Your Teen’s Space
While staying involved is important, it’s also crucial to respect their need for privacy. They might not want to share every detail, and that’s perfectly okay. Let them know you’re here for support without pushing too hard for information.
Thinking About Counseling for Teens in Plymouth, MN?
Remember that this might not go that well when you first bring it up. It doesn’t mean you’re doing a bad job. Regroup, and talk to your co-parent or other trusted people about how best to approach it. Also, make sure to create times when you and your teen are just hanging out doing something positive. It will be hard for them to open up if the majority of your interactions are trying to get them to talk or follow the rules. For every one negative interaction with your teen, try to create 5 positive interactions. This will help it feel more balanced and they will be more likely to want to open up to you. Good luck!
Loving and parenting a teen is some of the hardest work you will do. You probably already know that we offer online counseling in Minnesota, no matter where you are in the state. So, let’s connect! To get started, simply:
- Schedule a free, 30-minute consultation to talk about teen therapy
- Meet with a skilled and licensed online therapist in Minnesota
- Start to empower your teen with confidence
Other Counseling Services at Radiant Living Therapy
Our problems have many layers. We know these issues are complex so, at our Plymouth, MN counseling office, our professional therapists offer a variety of options for supporting your mental health needs. Our counseling services include individual counseling for anxiety or depression therapy, counseling for teens, marriage counseling and couples therapy, EMDR for trauma therapy, counseling for men, therapy for infertility, and more. Most of these services can also be offered online. Let us help you live your best life, starting with online therapy.
If you are a helping professional looking for help, or a therapist needing supervision or consultation services, we can help you, too. No matter the need, our therapists look forward to connecting with you!
