by Isabel Meyer-Mueller, Masters Intern Therapist
After observing hundreds of couples and conducting longitudinal studies of couples since the 1970s, relationship researcher John Gottman can now predict with over 90% accuracy whether a couple will stay together or get divorced after watching them in conflict for just 15 minutes. One of the most important things that Dr. Gottman looks for to separate the “masters of marriage” from the rest is the ratio of positive to negative interactions that the couple experiences. Dr. Gottman has found that the “magic ratio” is 5 to 1, meaning that for every negative interaction, like criticism or a moment of defensiveness, there need to be at least five positive interactions, such as expressing affection or sharing appreciation with your partner.
Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but it becomes problematic when it isn’t balanced out with the right ratio of connection and attunement. So, knowing that it is important to cultivate positivity in your relationship, I wonder how you are currently investing in your relationship. Dr. Gottman has also found that dedicating two hours a week specifically to your relationship dramatically increases relationship satisfaction because it allows time for affection and emotional connection. This means it might be time for you to clear a few hours off your calendar and plan a date night. Here are a few ideas for our Twin City friends for a date night that will help you get to that “magic ratio” and become a “master of marriage.”
Twin Cities Date Night Ideas: For the Foodie Couple
Do you feel like you are in a rut with your at-home dinners and are looking to try something new? Sign up for a cooking class at one of Cooks of Crocus Hill’s convenient locations throughout the Twin Cities. You can pick from a wide variety of classes from “vegan dinner party” to “the art of French baking” and anything in between. This is a great opportunity to expand your cooking repertoire, learn a new skill with your partner, and work as a team to create something delicious.
Twin Cities Date Night Ideas: For the Gamer Couples
If you are looking for a lively environment to play games with your partner head to Up-Down Minneapolis. They have over 50 arcade games from the ‘80s and ‘90s, as well as pinball, skeeball, Nintendo console gaming, and life-size Jenga. Step away from life’s everyday stressors and responsibilities by having fun with your partner. For more introverted couples, grab a new board game from the store and set up a cozy night at home.
Twin Cities Date Night Ideas: For the Couple Trying to Spice Things Up
If you want to spice things up, spend some time walking around Smitten Kitten, an education-based sex toy and supply store for everyday people. Smitten Kitten’s mission is to “affirm that you deserve pleasure, abundance, and joy in ALL aspects of your life!” That’s why they “carefully curate their inventory and cultivate an environment that is anti-racist, open, and welcoming.” In order to take this experience to the next level, use it as an opportunity to check in with your partner in a meaningful way. How are they feeling about your sex life? Is there something they want to explore more? How can you increase their sexual pleasure? Whether you are looking for a new bottle of lube, a powerful vibrator, or fresh bondage rope, Smitten Kitten is a one-stop shop!
Twin Cities Date Night Ideas: For Couples on a Budget
No matter what the weather looks like outside, you can always count on the Sunken Garden at the Como Zoo to provide you with beautiful blooms and perfect conditions. The best part? It’s free! Go for a romantic stroll through the seasonal floral displays and take time to slow down, smell the flowers, and reconnect with your partner. You can also sit on one of their beautiful benches and spend quality time talking with each other without distractions. Research shows that couples who spend quality time together are 3.5 times more likely to report that they are “very happy” in their relationship.
Twin Cities Date Night Ideas: For the Couple Wanting to Get Dressed Up
Are you looking for a night out on the town? Get dressed up and head over to the North Loop of Minneapolis. Start with pre-dinner drinks at Billy After Dark, a trendy new speakeasy behind Billy Sushi. Enjoy an Apéro before heading over to Bar La Grassa, an Italian restaurant by James Beard Award-winning chef Isaac Becker and Nancy St. Pierre. Still haven’t satisfied your sweet tooth? Stop by Edwards Dessert Kitchen for all the sugary goodness. Enjoy anything from decadent chocolate hazelnut mousse to a light key lime cheesecake and everything in between. As you dig into this incredible food and drink, see if you can find time to show intentional appreciation for your partner. Focus on the positives of your relationship and notice your partner’s more admirable traits.
If these ideas don’t resonate with you, I recommend you sit down with your partner and brainstorm fun and meaningful ideas for you. Perhaps you could even write them down and put them in a jar so that you are ready for the next date night. This investment in your relationship could pay dividends and help you feel more connected with your partner.
An Online Couples Therapist in Minnesota Can Help Your Relationship
Couples therapy with a skilled marriage and family therapist based in Plymouth, MN can help you anywhere you are in the state of Minnesota. You can have the supportive, loving relationship you know you are capable of. Feel more confident in the steps you need to truly help your relationship thrive.
- Schedule a free 30-minute consultation
- Meet a skilled and caring online couples therapist in Minnesota
- Have fun and celebrate life with your partner! Date night, and every night.
Other Counseling Services at Radiant Living Therapy
Relationships can be difficult to start and maintain. At Radiant Living Therapy, we support, explore, and address challenges through couples therapy. Also, Our therapists at Plymouth, MN counseling office, offer other mental health services such as anxiety and depression counseling, teen therapy, and EMDR for trauma therapy. Other services include counseling for men and more. We are here to help you thrive.